Challenging yourself feeds your soul

Beltane

I love Beltane not just because it is the beginning of Summer in the Celtic Wheel of the Year but because it is also my husband's birthday so it is a time of love and connection for me. It is always good to have a reminder that we are all lovable but also to show love and appreciation. Anyway with dh turning 50 it reminded me that it is my 50th in January and so this is the last year of my 40s.

In the last year of my 30s I challenged myself to honour the elements - earth, air, fire and water. I was in the midst of my Core Shamanic Practitioner training and was resonating a lot with the elements and how they are the basis of all nature and a great source of power. 

Honouring the Elements - earth, air, fire and water

In my 40th year before I turned 40, I honoured air by doing a static line solo parachute jump; honoured fire by doing my first fire walk; honoured water by starting to wild swimming and sat out alone from sunset to moonrise for 4 hours in the dark to honour the earth. All these experiences were amazing and solidified my connection to the elements and the power they can bring. They also took me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow as a person.

Challenging Yourself feeds the soul

Now is the time to consider what I am going to do in the run up to my 50th birthday. I have already committed to do the annual York Dragon Boat Race in July and if you would like to sponsor me - https://yorkrotary.enthuse.com/pf/viv-chamberlin-kidd. I am rowing as part of the Kyra Crew. This is going to be a massive challenge as I don't particularly like deep water (hence the wild swimming challenge when I was 39!!) plus I can't row very well.

But the real thing I feel I most need this year is to consistently be of service to others. This feels like an achilles heel of mine in some ways due to my neurodivergent brain. So I thought this would be a great internal challenge for myself but that having some accountability to others would serve two purposes.

Knowing how I felt after my parachute jump and then after my fire walk and my sitting out alone in the dark has spurred me on to realise that anything is within my grasp if I just see the chance to take myself out of my comfort zone and step into my power.

My 2022 Challenges

Earth (my body) - I am wanting to release some unhealthy habits that I have accumulated since my Dad's death in 2020 and over various COVID lock downs. I am therefore commiting to drinking more water and less coffee with syrups. I am also going to make my own essential oil chocolates and do regular strength training

Fire (my spirit/soul) - I am going to continue doing my weekly shamanic journeys and dream incubations/affirmations but I am going to document my spiritual journey via my Essentially Evolving Telegram channel - https://t.me/EssentiallyEvolving. If you would like to follow my journey then please come and join me.

Water (my creativity) - I am going to support myself and anyone who wants to tap into the magic of their full, evolving, powerful potential by sharing regular prompts, tips and steps along my journey using the various tools I have at my disposal. 

Air (my expertise) - I am going to share my expertise and experience with Runes; Ogham; chakra drumming; dream journaling; essential oils; chakra clearing; oracle cards; regular Game of Transformation games for the Earth; stone divination via my Guided Pictures in the Stone process; and any other things that appear in my life to support and guide me.

Your Challenges

Life is a journey. Not always an easy one. Getting out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself is a great way to fully realise your potential and amazingness. Is there a way you can find to challenge yourself this Summer?

If I can support you on that journey please come along for the ride. I'd love to share in your journey whilst I share mine and together we can make the world a better place. 

Minimalist months

The basics

1. Get rid of 1 thing on the 1st of the month
2. Get rid of 2 things on the 2nd of the month
3. Get rid of 3 things on the 3rd of the month... and so on.

Sometimes I do that backwards!!

1. Get rid of 31 things on the 1st of the month
2. Get rid of 30 things on the 2nd of the month
3. Get rid of 29 things on the 3rd of the month... and so on.

I have written about it this idea at various times here but the basic premise above was coined as the Minimalist Game by The Minimalists themselves here. They also have a TV documentary on Netflix (found out more here)

Winter Solstice

Today is the Winter Solstice, also known as Yule, which signifies the end of Autumn and the beginning of Winter. It is the day in the year when the axis of the earth means that it is the shortest day and longest night and so the days are getting longer through to the Summer Solstice. 

This slow beginning of more sunlight is a great time to plan the sowing of the seeds and look to next year's harvest. Whether this is around the actual growing of food or in my case more around plans for my business and family, I love this time of year to rest, recuperate, relax and have that space to plan, reflect and regroup.

I also love that falling a few days before Christmas this festival and space doesn't get tangled up in the consumerism of presents and over-indulgence. Instead, people celebrate using candles, setting intentions for the coming year and mulled beverages. Simply lighting a candle or sitting around a fire can honour the light and dark in all of us.

For me, it is a reminder that although there is light and dark; day and night; good and bad; male and female and so many other dualities, actually all of these things live on a spectrum. It isn't as clear cut as night and day as there is dusk and dawn; what is good to one person can be bad for another and vice versa. These things are not definitive.

So today is a day to honour transitions and growth with compassion and understanding. The Winter Solstice is a time to take it slow and enjoy the fact that nights are going to gradually get lighter from today. And it is a great time to look inward to our plans for the coming year with excitement and wisdom. And realise that things are always changing and growing.

What do shamanic healing and jigsaws have in common?

A strange title I know but this thought was gifted to me as I was doing a power gathering exercise that involved the candle in this video (with the jigsaw behind) on YouTube https://youtu.be/woXW_Nvm2KU

It is not always easy to explain to people how attending a shamanic healing session can affect them or how they might feel after the session, with the power they take into their lives. All healing sessions are different as all people are different but also for one person all soul retrievals or power retrievals are different. So let me give you a bit of a backstory about my own experiences with shamanic healing and soul retrievals. 

When I had my first soul retrieval I was surprised what soul part was bought back to me. To be honest I was slightly disappointed. I had an idea of what was most important to me to get back from my childhood and that is not what I received. However, as I continued my shamanic learning and received more soul parts back as part of my training, I looked back at that first session. I realised, with hindsight, why I had received that different part of myself back first. I needed that foundation to accept parts that were returned later including the part I initially thought I had lost. 

So whilst I was doing a power ceremony with the candle in the video I was given an analogy of shamanic healing being like doing a jigsaw!! So let me try and explain:

Imagine that you are a jigsaw puzzle but that pieces go missing through life's events and experiences. Sometimes so many pieces disappear that it is difficult to work out what the picture is anymore or how all the pieces could possibly fit together. Pieces go missing through life experiences like illness, difficult relationships, shock and trauma, moving house, changing jobs, mid-life worries, bullying at school, etc. Simply put anything that makes you feel less like yourself, unbalanced, etc can be power or soul loss (according to a shamanic practitioner.)

So with regards to the jigsaw, shamanic healing can bring those lost bits of your jigsaw back. Sometimes a session can result in a whole section of your jigsaw re-appearing such as important objects - faces, buildings, etc. Or a whole edge can be retrieved bringing with it very obvious benefits to the overall picture formation. Sometimes, however, after a shamanic session it can feel like only a few connecting pieces have been added to the jigsaw and it might not seem like a lot has changed. 

Although those 'filler' pieces seem less important they are still a vital part of the overall jigsaw. Without those in-between pieces, the picture can look distorted or just a bit weird (like this one.) They might seem unimportant but they connect the more obvious parts of the jigsaw giving the puzzle balance and more of an impact.

You might feel less impressed when you find those sky pieces between Dumbledore and Hogwarts but it is still important even if it is less exciting than finishing Hagrid's face!

So if you ever go for a shamanic healing session and, like me, feel a bit disappointed with the outcome, remember that maybe you need those less obvious bits of your power or soul returned before you are ready to receive more significant parts.

If you want to know more about my work or to book a session, book a free discovery call with me and let's get you sorted.

Comedy, legacy and memories

Photo by Monica Silvestre from Pexels

Grief affects everyone in different ways. It definitely seems that way to me with how my 3 brothers are processing my Dad's death and what I am doing about my feelings. 

If you have read previous posts of mine you will have seen some of the things that have helped me process his dying, death and his not being physically on this planet anymore. 

On 17th June I did my Thursday evening 'live' on FB and YouTube and talked about a fair number of things.

Here are some thoughts and links to some of the things I mentioned during that 'live' that have stuck in my mind for whatever reason since my Dad's terminal diagnosis in November 2019. 

Watching Daniel Sloss's comedy show Dark the weekend that my middle brother's family visited to see my Dad for one last time before he died. In this show he talks about death and offence so here is the link to the blog post I wrote about NOT taking offence 8 years ago To be or not to be offended... He has done other shows since that one but Dark and Jigsaw are on Netflix here. All his shows are worth watching as he has a great commentary on life - google him and see if you like him. If you don't watch his shows anyway and if you do, watch his shows (his latest is on HBO.)

I also talked about James Acaster 'cold lasagne hate myself 1999' - you can buy that here. As a family, we watched this recently which made me realise that I need to make the most of my small family unit being together as my son gets ready to go to University. My son leaving is just one of those life events that can bring up feelings like grief and loss from previous life events. This is something I have realised over the years especially if those emotions around loss are not acknowledged, accepted, processed, etc.

Being home educated my children spent a reasonable amount of time with my parents as we were free to visit Burton Agnes, Ilkley, Bridlington, or wherever they happened to be living, whenever we wanted. Even when my parents moved to York we were round there for tea, film watching, etc on a regular basis. My Dad is the first grandparent my children have lost. My Dad was around for Zack's 18th birthday; celebrated his GCSE results but he won't be here for his level 3 results or see him go to University. He wasn't here to celebrate Indie's 16th or see the Art and Design project they have just completed. I'm writing this here as a reminder of how quickly things change.I never thought my Dad wouldn't be here to see Indie turn 18. I am so glad that I have those memories of times walking along the front at Bridlington or lunches at Buffers near Bolton Abbey. Here is a reminder to everyone to create memories with friends and family and hold those memories dear for when times might be tougher or those people have moved on in whatever way.

I mentioned Bo Burnham in my 'live' too and this was my daughter's finding and so it was perfect timing that his 'Inside' Netflix special landed a few weeks ago. Grieving for my Dad during lockdown and restrictions was not easy. Obviously, I have no way of knowing whether it would have been 'better' with no COVID but it was tricky to not be able to visit places that we had been to lay that 'first visit without Dad' to rest; I have only visited the graveside once because it involves a significant drive and there was no family gathering last year and won't be this year where we can reminisce or maybe go to Bolton Abbey for the first time without Dad. 

Why I am writing this here is because the Bo Burnham special was such a fantastic reflection of those up and down emotions around life purpose, lockdown, separation from the 'norm' and loss in such a poignant and brutally honest way. It reminded me that I am human with all the wonderful, f**ked-up, fantastic and sometimes crippling emotional lows that go with that.

Weirdly enough I don't think any of these comedy shows would have been appreciated by my Dad. He loved a good comedy but these younger comedians would not have been his 'cup of tea.' However, they have helped me and my children navigate some emotional ups and downs since Dad's diagnosis and death.

If comedy isn't your bag though I would search for that experience or connection that mirrors to you that those of feelings of loss, grief, sadness, etc. are ok, part of life, to be experienced and felt, and even wallowed in. I wrote poetry, composed songs, did rituals and crazy ritualistic fundraiser activities. I used essential oils to support my grieving, did some learning around ancestry and journaled on what my dead ancestors would want for me for my life. I got angry at Dad for dying, celebrated that he was gone (as he would have hated lockdown), reminisced with my children about what he was like and agreed with my Mum that he really was a person "who was difficult to ignore." I hope I will continue to do these things with him in the background until the day I die. 

I'm here to help

If you want to have a chat with me about anything I have written or about any of my healing sessions whether it be about ancestral stuff, a lost loved one or anything else please book a free call. I'm always here to help if I can and if that resonates with you. 

If you are wanting any help with grieving over a lost loved one then there are also essential oils that are fantastic in helping with the process so a chat about that is also something I am more than happy to have with you. My free eBook and extra stuff are also available on my member site here. 

There is also a video I have done about essential oils and grieving here as well as two videos about using oils with emotions here and here

Why the sense of smell is so important

In Series 4, Episode 15 of the tv series House, Gregory House uses his sense of smell to help his memory. 

13: "Where are you going?"

House: "To smell a bus, obviously"

13: "Why are you smelling the passenger's clothes?"

House: "Smell is the most powerful evoke-erator of memory!"

I love the tv series House and I remembered this when reading up about why essential oils are so amazing and quick-acting. According to basic human biology - there is a direct connection between your nose and your brain's limbic system which is the area of the brain associated with memory and emotions. 

Smells can transport you to memories, for example, walking past a bakery can transport you to childhood when there was fresh bread ready for breakfast or when freshly mown grass reminds you of playing football with your siblings after the lawn was cut. The sense of smell involves far more receptors than with other senses, meaning you can discern lots of different aromas and be transported to many different places. 

But there is also the emotional side of it because smells (and therefore essential oils) can directly influence a person's mood, stress levels, anxiety levels and even depressive symptoms (from my favourite book Medicinal Essential Oils.) This is helped by the fact that the sense of smell is the only sense that has a dedicated, direct connection to the brain via the olfactory bulb.

So how does smell affects the body?

1. Aroma is inhaled
2. Odour molecules travel up the nose
3. Aroma molecules attach to the olfactory bulb receptor sites
4. Impulses are transmitted to the limbic system (a complex set of structures including hypothalamus, hippocampus, amygdala and limbic cortex)
5. In response to the aroma, the limbic system causes physiological responses in the body via hormones, neurotransmitters and other chemicals that influence body functions such as:
1. pain perception
2. appetite
3. metabolism
4. libido
5. wakefulness
6. body temperature
7. sense of well-being
8. stress levels
9. motivation

Amazing isn't it? How smell can impact our physiology and emotions.

Want to research it yourself?

If you want to know more about your amazing sense of smell go and read some doTERRA blog posts about essential oils and stress; the power of aroma or do some cool experiments here. 

Searching for more information via the internet, you too can find lots of people realise how amazing the nose is like this amazing poster about the quantum nose or these amazing TEDx or YouTube videos about smell:

1. TEDx Talk - Smell, Your Least Appreciated Sense. Rachel Herz talks about why you shouldn't take your sense of smell for granted and how it is so important for survival or even being attracted to someone. Active smelling has been shown to restore lost olfactory neurons [15:42] and your sense of smell is so important. [16:23] Use aromas to enrich your life - a scent is worth a thousand pictures.

2. Why Smell is More Important Than You Think. In this TEDx Talk, Holladay Saltz talks about how smell is so important including why cleaning products include certain smells. For example, citrus equals cleanliness; fruity smells increase feelings of comfort and floral equates to maternal love and care. Beware of marketing stuff as these things aren't natural products, unfortunately.

3. Here are some articles about How Smell Works and Psychology and Smell including the importance of smell in affecting emotion and in our memory recall.

4. Khan Academy - I love this site for information about everything. Here's a video from them about olfaction - the sense of smell. It is an in-depth video!!  

5. TEDx Talk - The power of the sense of smell. Donald Wilson talks about the massive importance of the sense of smell.

More stuff from me

I am starting to create my own repository of essential oil information on my MemberVault account here where you can find out more about me, my business partnership with doTERRA and you'll soon be able to find out more about my other work too. Go and find out more at my Essentially Shamanic MemberVault site now.

VISIT MY LEARNING PLATFORM and FIND OUT MORE 

https:www.essentiallyevolving.co.uk

Signifance versus owning your shit

I have to admit I find people strange sometimes. I believe that no one likes being told that they have got something wrong, misunderstood or royally cocked up but I also think that no one has ever died from being told it either.

I regularly get things wrong for my kids and my husband and sometimes for my friends. It is not done maliciously (99% of the time!!) but whenever I am picked up on it, it upsets me. However, I still want to know when I have got or done, something wrong otherwise, how am I going to learn and grow as a person?

One of the 6 human needs is growth 

1. certainty

2. variety

3. significance

4. connection / love

5. growth 

6. contribution.

As a fundamental need, growth demands that we learn from our mistakes. Why do so many people I know not want to be told when they make mistakes but instead want to blame others for their 'failings?' I put failings in quotes there because we all make mistakes; we all fail; we all get things wrong but what we do about those mistakes is what is important. Hiding behind someone else; taking no responsibility for our actions or even worse, pointing the finger at someone else just doesn't make sense to me but it happens so flipping often.

The interesting thing about these human needs is that if your top need is for significance then there is a problem. As this business article states "the issue with significance is that no matter where we look we will always be able to find someone who is more significant than us". Tony Robbins, who came up with the idea in 2006, takes it further. He says to be significant it is easier to tear others down to get to the top. Even better though is to create a significant problem. This gives status that doesn't compete with other people like success does. If that significant problem aligns you with others who you connect with whilst tearing others down, even better!! You have significance, connection and very little chance of rejection. If you want to see what this looks like go and have a look over on Twitter!!

Anyway back to me!! 🤣

The last time I royally f*cked up was with my daughter. I cried on and off for a day before the deep feeling of shame passed. It was unpleasant, I lost sleep over what I had inadvertently done and it even affected my appetite but I am still here. I learnt a valuable lesson and the pain I felt means I am more likely to not make the same mistake again. My daughter knows that I felt guilty and upset over the pain I caused her but she forgave me, I apologised and I hope that I modelled to her that it is ok to get things 'wrong.'

So why do I see so many incidences of people not taking responsibility for their actions?

Why do I see people who have cheated on their partners, pointing the finger at their partner for their lack of emotional support or whatever fecking excuse being the reason it was ok for them to cheat?

Why do I see people claim abuse against their partner whilst ignoring their issues from childhood which have never been addressed and they're 'transferring' onto the partner? Why are these adults happy to pass those same issues on to their children as unresolved patterns? 

Why do I see children being used as pawns in broken relationships even though they never chose to be here?

Why do I see friends falling out over minor things because one side has to be wrong so the other person can be right?

It's not like someone is keeping score. It's not like you win a trophy for being the best divorcee who didn't cause any of the issues in the marriage. I won't ever win Friend of the Year if I always have to be right. I might actually lose some friends that way!!

I regularly apologise to my children for the 'issues' that I am still dealing with since my childhood. I am 4000% more whole having done shamanic work, spiritual healing, bodywork, emotional therapy, dreamwork, etc. but I still have bits of my personality that need upgrading. But a lot of that work has been since having my kids as they are that perfect mirror to reflect stuff from my own childhood!! Unfortunately, that means that they were impacted by who I was before I did that work. Although that's not fab for them, at least I am willing to take responsibility for that. 

As I said I don't jump up and down when people point out my flaws but at least if I acknowledge them I can decide what I do with them. If I pretend that I don't have flaws, they are still there somewhere affecting my life like gremlins hiding around the corner waiting for another opportunity to jump out. 

If your childhood left you feeling unlovable, ugly or 'wrong' in some way, those things need to be looked at and resolved so that they are not brought into any relationships whether friend, lover or parent. If you have feelings like low self-esteem, low self-worth, unlovability or any negative feelings about yourself and you think that your upbringing was part of the issue then I would highly recommend dealing with as much of that shit as possible before your parents die!! Trying to deal with it afterwards can be done but it isn't as easy.

So my advice is to own your shit whether you are sometimes shit as a friend, do shit things as a parent, or treat your partner like shit occasionally. When you see it for what it is you can avoid it because no one really wants to walk in shit and ignoring it doesn't make it any less shitty. 

The thing is:

you can't grow if you don't learn

but you can't learn if you take no fecking responsibility. 

Why would anyone want to be purely a victim of circumstance? Is it just that, as Tony Robbins suggests, victimhood makes you part of a significant group? 

If that is it then I hope that these ramblings of mine can maybe show that won't necessarily lead where you want to go in as healthy a way as owning your shit, learning from it and growing as a person. If it isn't then I still hope that these ramblings can help in some way.

Growth including learning from your mistakes

Connection & love and maybe believing we are all connected (watch filmmaker Tom Shadyac's reflective documentary I AM about how we can improve the world to find out more) &

Contribution beyond yourself: sharing your unique gifts with the world in a positive way are much better ways to go.

If you want to know more about the work I do to help you be more yourself and regain the power you might have lost as a child please book a session or book a call.

If you want to find out your dominant human need do this quiz here and if you want to listen to Tony talk about these needs go here and/or watching his TED Talk about it.

Different ways to try essential oils - you decide!

Figure 1. Single sample

Trying a new health care product isn't always that easy. Especially if it is unfamiliar to you and unlike anything you have tried before.

What if you don't use the product enough? 

What is you use it too much? 

What if something goes wrong?

How do I know if it is working?

This sometimes means that the products go unused and another opportunity for someone's health to improve is missed.

I don't want that to happen and not just because every sample I send out costs me money, time and effort!! I don't want that to happen because you could discover like I did, that these wonderful plant medicines can help you overcome physical, emotional and spiritual issues and are really simple to use.

Pick 1, 2 or 3!! or 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So let me share with you the various ways you can get your hands on some oils with whatever level of support you need to make sure those oils get used:

1. pick an ailment from Figure 1., request a sample using this form, get the sample, use the sample and keep me in the loop as to how it is going, have a chat about what to do next (attend a class, purchase some oils, etc.) 

2. sign-up to my ever-evolving course platform where I share my passion for essential oils. On there you get the option to book a tailor-made 121 with me to discuss how you can use natural solutions to improve your health and wellbeing. £33 gets your 60-minute session over zoom or on the phone which we book after you have watched the 25-minute video of me sharing how I use the oils and why  I business partner with doTERRA. You will also receive a free introduction set of oils (worth £25) posted to you and a set of samples including one from Figure 1. that best suits you.

Figure 2. 7-day trial

3. take part in a 7-day essential oil trial alongside all the other people on their trials and with support from a large number of essential oil users and me! 

This trial includes a pre-class trial that covers information about how to use the oils. Then there is ongoing support within a Facebook group or via Telegram, with further information shared about the oils plus chances to win oils prizes. Then during the post-trial class, we cover options on purchasing the oils.

These trails happen at various times throughout the year. Just let me know which trial suits you and I'll let you know when the next one is running.

4. just dive right in and buy a fantastic doTERRA kit of oils. Here is a great PDF that tells you about the different kits so read that, pick your savings and then dive right in and buy that kit here

You choose which works best for you!! Contact me if you would like any further information about any of these options.