What do shamanic healing and jigsaws have in common?

A strange title I know but this thought was gifted to me as I was doing a power gathering exercise that involved the candle in this video (with the jigsaw behind) on YouTube https://youtu.be/woXW_Nvm2KU

It is not always easy to explain to people how attending a shamanic healing session can affect them or how they might feel after the session, with the power they take into their lives. All healing sessions are different as all people are different but also for one person all soul retrievals or power retrievals are different. So let me give you a bit of a backstory about my own experiences with shamanic healing and soul retrievals. 

When I had my first soul retrieval I was surprised what soul part was bought back to me. To be honest I was slightly disappointed. I had an idea of what was most important to me to get back from my childhood and that is not what I received. However, as I continued my shamanic learning and received more soul parts back as part of my training, I looked back at that first session. I realised, with hindsight, why I had received that different part of myself back first. I needed that foundation to accept parts that were returned later including the part I initially thought I had lost. 

So whilst I was doing a power ceremony with the candle in the video I was given an analogy of shamanic healing being like doing a jigsaw!! So let me try and explain:

Imagine that you are a jigsaw puzzle but that pieces go missing through life's events and experiences. Sometimes so many pieces disappear that it is difficult to work out what the picture is anymore or how all the pieces could possibly fit together. Pieces go missing through life experiences like illness, difficult relationships, shock and trauma, moving house, changing jobs, mid-life worries, bullying at school, etc. Simply put anything that makes you feel less like yourself, unbalanced, etc can be power or soul loss (according to a shamanic practitioner.)

So with regards to the jigsaw, shamanic healing can bring those lost bits of your jigsaw back. Sometimes a session can result in a whole section of your jigsaw re-appearing such as important objects - faces, buildings, etc. Or a whole edge can be retrieved bringing with it very obvious benefits to the overall picture formation. Sometimes, however, after a shamanic session it can feel like only a few connecting pieces have been added to the jigsaw and it might not seem like a lot has changed. 

Although those 'filler' pieces seem less important they are still a vital part of the overall jigsaw. Without those in-between pieces, the picture can look distorted or just a bit weird (like this one.) They might seem unimportant but they connect the more obvious parts of the jigsaw giving the puzzle balance and more of an impact.

You might feel less impressed when you find those sky pieces between Dumbledore and Hogwarts but it is still important even if it is less exciting than finishing Hagrid's face!

So if you ever go for a shamanic healing session and, like me, feel a bit disappointed with the outcome, remember that maybe you need those less obvious bits of your power or soul returned before you are ready to receive more significant parts.

If you want to know more about my work or to book a session, book a free discovery call with me and let's get you sorted.

Why is my business called Essentially Shamanic?

When I re-launched my business on the Autumnal Equinox in 2019 (23rd September - which also happens to be my Wedding Anniversary!) I wanted a name that captured the essence of what I did. 

I had been vaguely using the name Essentially Shamanic but the re-launch gave me the chance to re-evaluate. I obviously stuck with it.

I believed that it did capture not only who I was but also what I did. Even though using the word 'shamanic' can cause confusion for those who aren't aware of shamanism as a spiritual practice or what I do, I still felt that using it would elicit curiosity, could at least lead to an interesting conversation or could lead someone down an interesting Google rabbit hole of discovery.

Learning about, experiencing the healing power of, and ultimately training as a Core Shamanic Practitioner got me to a place where I was able to comfortably accept myself. It gave me back my essential essence and I then felt able to offer that powerful healing opportunity to someone else.

So why Essentially Shamanic?

'Essentially' because: 

1. I want everyone to be essentially themselves
2. I use essential oils to enhance the spiritual healing experience of my work
3. I believe that I am essentially a spiritual being
4. Shamanic healing brought me back to the essence of who I am

'Shamanic' because

1. I am a Core Shamanic Practioner
2. I use core shamanic healing techniques with my clients
3. I am guided by my shamanic power animals and shamanic guides
4. I use dreamwork in my business which is another way in which shamans believe the soul travels to the spirit world

If you'd like to find out more about how I can help be essentially you please book a free call

How to never feel imposter syndrome (or never again)

Imposter syndrome is the belief that you aren't as competent as others perceive you to be despite external evidence to the contrary. It also includes the fear of being found out as a fraud. But it seems that actually, pretty much everyone feels like that regardless of whether we are talented, experienced, a newbie or a seasoned veteran. Either that or they hide it well OR maybe there are actually people out there who don't care and get on with what they are doing regardless.

To be honest, I don't mind if you are actually an imposter in some ways - so what if you are pretending that you know more than they do, so what if you are winging it or slightly faking it to get ahead. I don't mean actual fraud or deception tor fraudulent gain or conning people. I mean slightly bending the truth ("I passed my Maths GCSE!") to get ahead in something you love so that you can learn on the job or get that step up that you need to prove or improve yourself.

Good for you for having a go. If the vast majority of people are feeling like they are imposters then we can all join the party and be in it together and if there are people who are faking it because they love what they do good for them. I'd rather be an imposter in something I love doing than a veteran in someone I hate doing, as long as I am not hurting anyone. 

So what if you know less than the next person? How do we even measure this?

So what if there are people out there who know more than you? They aren't you and the way they implement their knowledge may be very different to you!

So what if you have less experience, so what if you are a newbie? Everyone has to start somewhere before they can become competent.

Here's the 'live' I did on Facebook about this subject - https://youtu.be/BPiT4Dz9jfY. I start most of my 'lives' on Facebook with "hello beautiful people" and I finish most of my lives with something along the lines of "remember you are an amazing, unique person and there is no-one else like you." because both of those statements are true. I am not talking about external beauty although I believe that everyone is externally beautiful! I am talking about the amazing, beautiful, unique people we all are. There is no-one else with your brain, your talents, your skills, your thoughts, etc in the way that they are arranged in you. 

So really you are an expert and uniquely qualified for at least one very important task. 

Being you

So let's forget about imposter syndrome, let's forget about competency, let's forget about what others think about you. 

If you are doing something that brings your joy and adds value to one other person's life even indirectly, brilliant. What others think about that is irrelevant and what you think about what other's think about you is also irrelevant and is also frankly a waste of time because they are too busy worrying about whether you have noticed that they are imposters or they haven't even noticed you at all.

Be you, be unashamedly you, be successfully you, be effectively you and by default you will be competently you and as Yoda would say "you an imposter cannot be!"

PS. If you would like some help accessing or exploring your personal power or are inquisitive about how you let allow outside factors influence your wellbeing arrange a call with me where I can tell you how I could help as a core shamanic practitioner. Book a call with me.

If you are into essential oils spearmint and bergamot are just two oils that can help you find your true voice, confidence and allow you to embrace your fabulous awesomeness. Arrange a call if you would like further information (use the button above.)

PPS. I have added my logo to this post because it was designed from a doodle I did after a shamanic journey I went on about my business. If you look at the way that it has been drawn it spells B ME with a backward B. This is the basis of my Essentially Shamanic business. I want everyone (including myself) to be truly themselves. 

Designing Health the Permaculture Way

Part 1 - Movement

Over the last year I have yet again, through lack of time and losing my favourite exercise activity of Ceroc, gone beyond my comfortable size.  I have an uncomfortable "my belly looks like I am pregnant" phase I hit which always results in my taking stock of where I am health-wise and what I am going to do to tone up a bit.  I then found that I was officially obese with a BMI of 30.5, which is probably the heaviest I have ever been in my lifetime,.  I am sure this is a result of many factors such as:

1. my relatively recent foray into the "diet" industry AGAIN
2. the aforementioned lack of Ceroc classes in York
3. my recurring back problem which occasionally stops me exercising
4. my weekly kick-boxing classes being cancelled
5. my liking of chocolate

to mention but a few.  With regards to point 1, like many others, I always end up feeling lousy about my lack of willpower to stick to a restrictive diet and I end up heavier/fatter than when I started. It always seems such an ingrained, natural thing to do though - to diet. I always vowed after having children that I wouldn't diet because I don't want my children growing up with the idea that diets are a good thing. Anyway I am resolute that I not going to restrict my eating like that again and I will be looking at my eating habits as a separate issue to this one.  So having vowed that I would never again restrict my diet or try to be unrealistic about what exercise I am going to do, I was left with a bit of hole as to what to do next.  This void, together with no sign of Ceroc classes returning to York, left me in a bit of a quandary.

So I started thinking about designing my health and I thought that using Lobby's Design Web mentioned in her book Permaculture and People would be a great place to start.  What I liked about this Permaculture Design Process was that it is more geared towards acknowledging me as a person and I felt it would help me overcome the obstacles which have hindered my health in the past. There were also many aspects of the ideas within this web which resonated with processes which I have put in place in my life since attending the Hoffman Process and training as a Shamanic Practitioner (more of these realisations may appear in other blog posts and Permaculture design write-ups.)  Here is the write up of that design so far using Looby's Design Web:

	Ideas
	Growth Phase
Vision	To be healthier. To continue to enjoy life and find more ways to integrate body movement (I hate the word exercise) into my way of life. To find a balance between time away at classes and time with my family. To protect my back (which has been problematic since I was 16) by increasing my core stability. To have fun. Incorporate more movement into my everyday life to counteract the amount of time spent at a computer. To be realistic. Learn more useful skills. Build on what I already know.
Helps	My geeky nature - I could potentially incorporate some apps and goals so I can see my progress. The resources of the internet. My stubbornness and willingness to try anything once. Finding activities which are fun and/or useful in my life in other ways.
Limits	Cost (financial, equipment, time.) I get bored easily. The need to feel that the time/cost is worth it. My tendency to be unrealistic.
	Exploratory Phase
Patterns	1. I get bored easily. 2. I don't like spending money. 3. I don't like going out in the evening as that is when I see my husband. 4. I fear I won't stick to any program if I have to do it alone. 5. If it's not fun I will not want to continue. 6. Worrying about my appearance. 7. I find it difficult to do exercise at home because I forget as there are always other things to do and distractions. 8. Overdoing it and not realising when I need a break
Ideas	1. Find an activity which progresses in some way or where improvements are easily noticed. 2. Use my time-bank hours to pay for classes or find something where the benefit of the class outweighs the cost. Realise any investment will be of benefit to me. 3. Include the family in my workouts or find during the day classes which don't get in the way of evening family time which is what we did with kick-boxing. 4. Find classes where there is extra motivation to participate or find some goal-orientated way to give me staying power to keep going. 5. Find classes I really, really enjoy like Ceroc. 6. Continue to work on the reasons that I don't like my appearance and realise that these are not size-related because they have always been there. 7. Find activities I can do at home and find a way to remind myself. 8. Make sure I evaluate regularly and re-design when needed
Principles	1. Observe and Interact - taking ideas from nature - I have always liked the idea of natural movement (see blog posts here and here) but I find it really difficult incorporating these ideas into my life (point 7 in patterns.) I need to find ways to have the space, time and inclination to does these things and I need to integrate them into my way of life so that I think about it, they are just things I do as naturally as breathing, eating, etc. I also need to be aware of when I am resisting any changes and analyse what this resistance means. 2. Catch & Store Energy - maybe my geeky nature would be a good way to capture the energy of my finding new ways to move and get healthier e.g. revisit websites I have used before to track my activities e.g. endomondo, mapmyfitness, myfitnesspal and investigate other activity apps/websites which incorporate goal setting; connecting to others and forums for advice; in the past I have taken photos along the way which I might do again to keep me motivated; getting my kids involved could also help. 3. Obtain a Yield - feeling healthier, losing the "pregnant" belly feeling, incorporating natural movement into my life so it is seamless, learn what feels good to me, increase my range of body movements and become more somatically aware. 4. Apply Self-regulation & Accept Feedback - if I don't enjoy the activity I need to find something else as I refuse to do exercise for the sake of exercise as it makes me feels bad and my emotional well-being is as important as my physical well-being. Maybe finding classes which are flexible would benefit my life-style in that I very often cannot stick to a set time and day. Pay-as-you-go is therefore better than any pre-paid classes. Revisit how I feel about what I am doing every month or so to check that I am happy; my kids are happy with any time away as is my dh. My feedback needs to be about how I feel physically but also emotionally, spiritually and mentally about my health. Although I am talking about activities and classes if I am not feeling better in all aspects of my life then my plan is not working so I need to find a way to monitor these 4 areas each month. 5. Use & Value Renewable Resources and Services - I will be using my own power to improve my health and one of the reasons I am planning this design is so that I remain a viable renewable resource for as long as possible. 6. Produce no Waste - over time I have accrued all the workout equipment, DVDs, clothing and shoes that I need to try any type of activity necessary. I will endeavour where possible to find local activities and will evaluate why (if ever) I need to go further afield. Again I will balance using my car to get to classes over time away from family and other considerations. 7. Design from Patterns to Details - being clear about why I want to be healthier and how to balance my health with family/time/finances.  Combat any negative patterns about my health and create healthy patterns. Evaluate my monthly feedback from (4) and redesign if necessary. Celebrate any break in negative patterns as well as any new healthier ones. 8. Integrate rather than Segregate - having made a space in my bedroom (see here) for exercise which already includes a climbing wall, punch-bag, various exercising paraphernalia and a playstation 2/TV combo and now enough floor space for most types of activity this gives the kids and I the chance to engage in whatever movement activity takes our fancy. This area is nearly perfect from a theoretical point of view but we need to start using it so that it becomes an integral part of our lives for fun movement activities including keeping up with our kick-boxing skills in case we ever get to go back to our classes. 9. Use Small & Slow Solutions - I am being realistic here that anything I do is not going to make my "pregnant"-like belly disappear overnight or my BMI suddenly be reasonable. I haven't had a BMI within normal range for over 12 years and I am not even sure I agree with it as a measurement anyway. This design is focussing on how I feel about myself from all four aspects of my "quadrinity" (as the Hoffman Process calls the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of ourselves) and so my reflective writings about how I feel will be my overall guide as to how the design is going. Integrating different ways of being in my body will be slow because anything that doesn't work will be dis-guarded and new things tried and evaluated. 10. Use & Value Diversity - I need to look at this "integrating movement into my life" design holistically and as mentioned earlier need to include different types of movement in different places e.g. outdoors, indoors, natural movement, cardio, strength work, martial arts, etc. 11. Use Edges  & Value the Marginal - over the last year there have been changes in my life which are worth considering with regard to edges. For example, my parents moving to York and my getting a Saturday job. Both these things can integrate using my body more into my life if I chose them to. Sharing some activities with my children and husband can acknowledge the edges between us and help me in my endevaour to improve my health. 12. Creatively Use  & Respond to Change - I am going to be 42 in January so I need to incorporate strength work as well as cardio as my muscle mass is in decline. I have an opportunity to include natural movement now we have a woodland where we get the fuel for our wood-burning stove so I can carry logs from garden to house regularly over winter and pile logs all year round at the woodland. I recently started working so relying on walking and cycling wherever possible saves money (+ve.) I also have an opportunity to include my children in anything I do as I home educate and want them to have a positive view on how moving their bodies makes them feel good. Most of all though I need to find activities that take over from Ceroc and kick-boxing.
	Productive Phase
Integration	Thoughts via hackpad
Action	Measure various parts of my body and take a photo on 1st January 2015 Use misfit acticity tracker everyday and sync with app so it gets picked up by mapmywalk Trial Monday swimming with the kids at least once a month Keep going to MFT classes on Tuesday (or Thursday if I cannot do Tuesday) Trial Tai Chi classes on Wednesday morning with the kids, once a month maybe twice - review in 2 months Friday - attend Jitsu class (move to Monday if I cannot do Friday) Friday or Saturday once a month to every 6 weeks go climbing with at least Dave Try out various activities with the kids eg. 7 minute workout on my phone; DVDs; trampolining; kettlebells; natural movement; etc. - start small Incorporate more things as I get more time
Momentum	Review on the 1st of every month. Add this date to my calender as well as a weekly check in when I have time.
	Reflective Phase
Appreciation	Take photos and measurements at my monthly review and celebrate my achievements regardless
Reflection	Monthly review.
Pause	If I need time off, take time off.

That's it for now. Watch this space!!

addiction, hemispheres and spirituality

I know Russell Brand isn't everyone's cup of tea due to his 'offensive' manner and warped sense of humour   See my blog post on 'taking offence' and you will see what but I personally think of taking offence (DON'T) and if you don't like his sense of homour don't watch him.  Whatever you think of him I think he has some very interesting stuff to say about addiction.  For example he was invited to speak at a Committee on addiction which you can view here and also I recently found this video on YouTube - Russell Brand on drugs, Savile and yoga.  I love his thoughts on drug addict rehabilitation: that addiction cannot be overcome by giving someone a different type or form of addiction but needs to be tackled by abstinence-based recovery whilst at the same time looking at our spiritual selves.  He states that

1. addiction is a health matter
2. people who are addicts need to be dealt with with compassion
3. addiction is symptomatic of emotional and psychological difficulties as well as a spiritual malady
4. abstinence-based recovery is the key
5. all 3 areas (emotional, mental and spiritual) need to be dealt with

I know Russell Brand talks about addiction mostly from the viewpoint of drugs and maybe alcohol but I believe that a similar approach can be taken with all addictive behaviour although with some this is more problematic than with others.

Here are some of the common addictions that are known about:

sex addiction

love addiction

over-eating

gambling

drugs

alcohol

exercise

work

computer-use - game-playing, surfing, on-line gambling

shopping

An addiction is hallmarked by the impaired control over the substance (food, drink, drugs, etc.) or behaviour (falling in love, shopping, exercise, etc), preoccupation with substance of behaviour, continued use/behaviour despite consequences and denial of these behaviours.  Also the need for immediate gratification (short-term reward) regardless of the long-term costs.

Obviously abstinence-based recovery with some of these might make life a bit boring but still some of Russell's approaches I reckon would work.  For example, I know someone who is a love addict.  He has moved through his whole adult life from one relationship to another with very little time in-between to spend any significant amount of time really looking at the route cause of his addiction.  It seems from the outside that he reckons he was only addicted to one of the people he attached himself to and therefore now he isn't with that person he is 'cured.'  I reckon the analogy here would be a cocaine addict now being recovered by being addicted to methadone and so nothing has really changed at all.  An abstinence-based program would tell this man that he needs significant time by himself (not in a relationship) to really face his addiction and find the emotional and psychological basis for it.  At the same time his abstinence could also give him time to find the spirituality help that 'fills' the gap that a relationship 'filled' before.  I can see it in scenario how Russell's idea would work unfortunately denial is a great defence and that isn't what this person has done.  And I can sort of see why because no-one can know how long this person would need to abstain from 'being' with someone for it to really be long enough.  Co-dependency is a tricky thing that way and not at all like drug addiction or alcohol addiction and I feel some of the other addictions listed above could easily have the same problems.  Can you really never clothes shop ever again if you are a clothes addict, can a sex addict really abstain for ever and can a work-aholic really afford to just give up the day job?  Obviously not and this is where Russell has obviously thought it through (bless his Jesus-like hair and beard) because I believe the key here is the spiritual element.  The idea that human beings are more than just physical beings with emotions and intellect has been around for a long time.

Jill Bolte Taylor is a brain scientist who realised one morning she was having a stroke and therefore paid very special attention to what was happening to her whilst the stroke progressed.  Here TED talk explaining the experience is really worth watching here because it shows us that there is more to us human beings than just a physical body with a bit of intellect and emotion thrown in for good measure.  "I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.  We are energy-beings connected to one another through our right hemispheres as one human family."  She concludes the talk with the following "So who are we?  We are the life-force power of the universe with manual dexterity and two cognitive brains.  And we have the power to choose, moment by moment, who and how we want to be in the world....I believe that the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be."

I believe that 'running our inner-peace circuitry" means tapping into our spirit and finding ourselves there.  Brand does it via Kundalini Yoga, I do it via Shamanic journeying, my DH does it via walking through the woods and being connected to the earth, others do it via praying or meditating or just spending time by themselves.  Whatever your thing is, make sure you do of much of it as you need, when you need as often as you need and be aware that when you are 'out-of-sorts' that is probably an indication that your inner-peace circuitry needs some attention.

With regards to addicts of any kind the one thing they all have in common is the incessant left hemisphere chatter (as Jill puts it) that stops them from tapping into their right hemisphere and holds them captive to their addiction.  If you are constantly thinking about where your next 'fix' is coming from then there is no space for your spiritual side. If you are constantly finding the next 'job' to fill your time with or the next 'shag' or the next 'meal/chocolate bar/snack' or the next 'partner' who is going to make you feel ok/whole/worthy just for a little while then there is no peace and the cycle starts again.  Anything that fills your brain with endless chatter is stopping your right hemisphere having its time.

So although Brand may not be your cup of tea he is at least out there spreading the word in his own quirky way and I just thought I would add my own little thoughts to his.