Poem about being essentially me

Compassion not division

Treacherous waters, rapids and stones unseen
The undercurrent, twisting and mean
Can I navigate these with no training
I feel out of my depth, afloat on uncharted waters
Should I stand and be counted, scrutinised at close quarters
This shit is so draining, explaining
I've done this forever, seen differently, acted outlier
Been a non-complier
But this isn't a thing, but it is
It doesn't make me different, but it does
I'm just me, I've always been me
I was never in a closet
I don't need to step out
But these words, these describers, these descriptors
Are holding me captive
Like a snake around my throat,
Do I really need to speak out?
Jump on a bandwagon that shouldn't even be there
Say who I am, declare
These words have trapped me, collapsed me
As I navigate an ever-changing vocabulary Undercurrents, treacherous waters
Too many shoulds, shouldn'ts, oughtas
And I'm left adrift
As a sense a shift
In me, that wasn't there before
That I just want to ignore, because
I abhor
That it has to stated - the need to show compassion and kindness
Which should just be a right for all, not a divider
Purely due to your gender, race, orientation or any other qualifier

Home educated to college

I've been meaning to write about this for a long time now but just didn't ever seem to be able to find the words.

When you start on a rather odd path like home educating, especially a free-range, autocratic, child-led home education, college or structured education seems a long, long way off and for some it never comes at all. But like all things, if and when it does creep up on you, it can be a shock or at least for me it was. I started recording Facebook 'lives' last year and my August / September ones were all tinged with an air of sadness and the emotional-ness of the loss I was feeling over my eldest going off to college after 12 years of not being at school and 17 years of being with me pretty much 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I was excited as well but it was a big change for the whole family and I really had no idea how he was going to emotionally cope with the environment of a college with over 4,000 students (I wasn't bothered about the academic side).

Anyway off he went, my gorgeous, sensitive, free-range child and we were blessed to have him looked after, nurtured and cared for by total strangers. There were ups and downs of going from no academic study to 3 days a week of Maths, English and a level 2 Games Design course plus the fact that the college only catered for people re-taking Maths and English GCSE not those who had never even studied Maths or English GCSE. But the staff were absolutely amazing - DS was given extra work to do and was helped in every way possible.

DS has never been diagnosed with dyslexia but when he started trying to read when his sister was teaching herself at age 4 (DS was 7) he showed classic signs of it. I am dyslexic so knew what to look for. At that point I asked if he wanted to read and he said no so I told him to stop - he was only doing it because his sister was. We always brought our kids up to play to their strengths and at that age his strengths were climbing trees, drawing maps, playing computer games and mental arithmetic so why learn to read when you don't want to or need to - that was our philosophy. Left to his own devices, he eventually taught himself to read some time between the ages of 11 and 12 with no issues at all.

At college he was supported by the learning support team and assessed with additional needs due to his dyslexic symptoms and at times he availed himself of the mental health services when he felt overwhelmed or needed some time out. All this was done with no judgment or stigma, as I feel it should be. We all have mental health and need support from time to time and the same with a helping hand with academic work.

Anyway, I'm here to let you know that all went well. He coped, he passed all his courses with the best mark he could get and he managed that all in 8 months from an academic standing start. He started the equivalent level 3 course yesterday.

Why am I telling you this though? Am I just wanting to blow my own trumpet on how amazing I am as a mother and educator!! Nope. Instead, I want to remind everyone out there that there are alternatives to mainstream education that don't need you, as a parent, to be a teacher or amazing at imparting knowledge to your children. When my DH and I decided that DS was not going to school because we didn't want him to be taught to read or anything until he was ready, we decided that as the main stay at home parent, I was there to parent my children with guidance and love, not educate them in the ways of Maths, English or anything else.

Although I have helped other people's children pass GCSE Maths (I am a geek who LOVES maths) I am appalling at imparting my mathematical wizardry to my own children. I am mean, short-tempered, have no patience and become possessed by the worse teacher you can imagine. Not at all Mum of the Year material!! In contrast, I am their Mum, I am their taxi driver, I am their confidante (if needed) to name just a few but I am not their academic teacher and I don't need to be. Most of their 'education' from me has been around emotions - trying to have empathy for where someone else might be coming from if they act in a certain way that causes upset; not taking offense (as it is pointless - read my post here); holding your boundaries whilst being kind; not labeling someone as something but rather labeling the behaviour; the 5 languages of love, etc.

All the academic stuff is better taught by teachers and that seems to have been borne out by DS's experience. I am hoping that the emotional resilience he showed over the last year is due to my DH and my nurturing of him and his sister over their lifetime but I can tell you that his academic prowess is all his to congratulate himself on as well as the college staff who facilitated his learning.

So remember:

1. there are alternatives to our education system
2. you don't have to be a teacher to home educate - you just have to care about your kids :-)
3. children DO NOT have to follow the national curriculum
4. it does NOT have to be expensive to home educate
5. it is possible to pass Maths and English GCSE in 8 months having never seen the curriculum before (3 hrs a week per subject whilst doing another course)
6. you can get a job without any qualifications - just thought I would throw that in there in case you are still reading!
7. if you are MY child, don't ask me to teach you Maths unless you want to see my Mrs Trunchbull impersonation!! In fact, don't ask me to teach you any academic subject
8. MOST IMPORTANT - you are all unique and AMAZING (watch my FB 'live' to really instil that in you) 

If you would like further information about home educating please feel free to get in touch.

How I am coping with emotions around cancer

Great artwork in Bexley Wing to lift the spirits

My Dad has just been diagnosed with liver cancer which is still a 'scary' cancer in my book. This is compared to my husband's testicular cancer which even back in 2009 was a 'non-scary' cancer.  

To be fair I still find the word 'cancer' scary whatever type it is but statistically speaking getting cancer of the liver is not good.

Bexley Wing Oncology Department, Leeds

When my husband was diagnosed he had his testicle removed and then had regular check-ups in Leeds. His cancer had not spread so he didn't need chemo and we were very happy when he was offered a place on a trial and was only required to undergo 3 MRIs over the 6 years he was followed-up. His family has a hereditary lean towards contracting colon cancer so keeping him away from any unnecessary radiation was important.

Over those 6 years though we spent enough time at Bexley Wing that when I then drove my parents there for my Dad's appointment last week, it brought back memories and not great memories, despite my husband's successful recovery.

How I am dealing with my emotions

There are many differences between the father of your young children having cancer and your Dad. Neither is easy, but I am a very different person to who I was 10 years ago. Following DH's diagnosis, both he and I attended the Hoffman Process which is a transformational process that gives you many tools to deal with life, relationships and unhelpful inherited patterns of behaviors. I feel I am a very different person to who I was, due to attending this course and having various techniques I can use when I need to, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. 

Shamanic Healing

After attending Hoffman I trained as a shamanic practitioner and had many shamanic healings and soul retrievals over the course of my 5 years of training and since, which means I feel 'more' me and am more able to deal with my emotions and handle these kinds of stressful situations. I feel more able to accept my emotions and thoughts when life takes a 'turn' that maybe I was not expecting and I can use my shamanism tools to tap into power, peace and ground myself when I feel that is needed. 

Shamanism has changed my life and I feel privileged to be able to offer others healing sessions where they too can become empowered and more connected to their authentic selves. 

Essential Oils

I discovered essential oils in 2017 and they are my favourite way of dealing life when there are strong emotions around just because they are easy to use. I carry small bottles of different oils everywhere I go and also have roller-balls made up with different potions that I wear like perfume. There are emotional blends that are my go-to favourites in times of stress or upset but to honest any great smelling essential oil will lift the spirits. Smell has a direct access to the limbic (emotional) seat of the brain so there are always positives to breathing in essential oils.

WhatsApp - SOS

I also love the WhatApps broadcast ability. This means I can send a message out to my friends just telling them how things are for me. Even if I am just having a wobbly and don't know why I can send a little message letting them know. This group of friends, who I class as being in in my (SOS) Circle of Support group, know that when I feel down, I send out an SOS and they can respond with an emoji or just a thumbs up. I always get something back from at least one of them but the important thing is that I know I am in their thoughts and I know they have my back. 

Contact me

If you want to know more about anything I have talked about here please get in touch with me:

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Ah Permaculture Diploma / New Year - where am I going?

I suppose it is always around this time of year that I contemplate where I am going in the upcoming year. I find January is a time of reflection for me as my birthday falls near the beginning of January as well as being the actual start of a new year.

Well, I got a great surprise in that one of my diploma projects got signed off in January with another one nearing being signed off. I have nearly finished writing up my wonderful collaborative Introduction to Permaculture course design that culminated in York's Introduction to Permaculture course run by 2 other permaculture diploma apprentices and myself back in November.

All very exciting but the diploma is also taking a lot of my time and that is something that I do not have a lot of. So the time has come to re-evaluate.

Something I always thought near the beginning of my diploma journey was using the permaculture principle of designing from patterns to details to concentrate, via my projects, on the circles of my life split up as follows:

1. my house
2. my street
3. my easily walkable neighbourhood
4. my walkable area (within 30 minutes)
5. my locality
6. my city
7. everything else needed to create community / remain connected to everything

with more effort put into 1 through to a lot less effort for no 6 and a weird amount of effort for 7 due to wanting to reclaim entertainment tasks from the economy such as cooking, childcare and fun. Across all the circles there is a need to connect with people, nature and myself and then contribute to the communities in those areas.

I also wanted to honour my quadrinity, as taught in the Hoffman Process, of intellect, spirit, emotion and physical body.

This is not something that I have touched on explicitly so far in any of the 10 designs but they are always in the back of my mind. However all these 11 areas are very important to me in different ways but how do I deal with them all in a way that is understandable? This is something that I have struggled with a lot whilst doing the permaculture diploma. Being dyslexic I tend to think big and assume that everyone is going to get where I am coming from. They don't!!!

All you need to do is look at the number of spreadsheets in my diploma journey planning, logging, documenting project plan here. It makes perfect sense to me but it isn't that easy to follow without some sort of explanation. And therein lies a problem because when it comes down to it I really cannot be bothered to explain all the many small details of my inter-connected way of thinking. I don't have the time and even if I did it would be taking me away from doing all the fab things I get to do. So what do I do now? I don't really have an answer. So I am going to keep doing the things I have been doing since starting the diploma and I will just see where this year takes me. I am going to stick to my plan as long as it doesn't cause me stress.

And so I am going to start with a re-evaluation of myself:

1. I am more than a someone doing a diploma in permaculture, I am more than someone who home educates their children, I am more than a wife, a daughter, a sister, a volunteer at my local community hub, more than a self-employed IT / PA / social media person, more than a friend, more than my jobs, more than my relationships. I am all those things and more.

I am the embodiment of all my relationships / all my connections with the world.

2. What I do does not need to be measured to be valued (do not mistake measurement for value eg. salary, school grades, etc) whether it be via salary, signed off diploma projects or whatever.

3. When I forget who I am and I become disconnected - I need to be aware eg. shopping for stuff I don't need, eating stuff that doesn't fuel my body properly, etc

and then:

4. Celebrate the connections in my life and build more:
i. honour the space I live in eg. declutter (minimalist month), use the space in a conducive manner
ii. continue making cider with people on the street every year, connect with my neighbours in other ways, help-yourself front garden
iii.working at the local community cafe & volunteering at the local youth club
iv. regular walks - health and wellbeing and awareness of my neighbourhood & member of my local Timebank
v. use my local shops eg. greengrocers - local produce, local businesses, local market
vi. walk/cycle as much as possible
vii. grow the great connections I have with my friends and with nature

Intellect
Admit my dysfunctionality
Recognise it = awareness
Confront it = will
Move on = take action

Emotion
Recognise the need to listen (observe)
Recognise the need to be heard
Enlightenment is a group effort or Charles Einstein's idea of us being inter-beings

Spirit
Honour the fact that I am part of nature

Body
Just do stuff and find positive body issues

These are just ramblings that I have written as they have occurred to me against the backdrop of the 11 areas mentioned above. A journalution of sorts (click on the link to find out more about journaling) and there is so much more I could write because working on myself and my place in this amazing universe is never going to end. The universe at present seems to be presenting me with many amazing opportunities to help people get the word out about brilliant courses, fantastic services that will help people find themselves or great products that honour the planet.

I get to continue honouring my planet by being part of the lives of the wonderful natural resources that are a whole host of amazing home educated children (including my own.) The next creative generation!! Every day I get to be part of that. It really needs to be celebrated.

So whether I take a pause from my diploma, give it up, keep working on it - it doesn't actually matter because those 11 areas mentioned above (and so many more) are always in the back of my mind along with the need to looking after the planet I live with.

Lying, empathy and doughnuts

You can tell that there is a lot going on in my life at the moment because I seem to go in these waves of writing loads of blog posts and then nothing for months and months. The weird thing is that I tend to write more when I am busier. Maybe it is so that I get my thoughts down on a page so I don’t forget in the mad rush of life. Well whatever it is, here is another rambling of mine.

Lying
It seems that as parents we are really (and I mean really) bad at telling when our children are lying. A recent new study mentioned in the Daily Mail here and discussed in the Guardian here says that parents are only likely to spot their children lying 1/5th of the time as compared to other adults and even other adults are pretty bad at stopping a lie, getting it correct only half the time. I find this fascinating and scary all at the same time as I wonder does this follow up into adulthood where we still can’t tell when we are being lied to.

I only wonder this because again recent experiences with my friends and family have made me wonder how we overcome this idea that we have to always take a side in disagreements, arguments or any sort of dispute/break-up, etc. As a Mum of two children of different genders I suppose it might be easier for me to understand from both sides:

1. how would I feel if my daughter came home and said that something awful had happened with her boyfriend?
2. how would I feel if my son came home and described the above situation but from the point of view of my daughter's boyfriend?

Luckily my dd is still quite young and although older my ds does not have a girlfriend but this obviously doesn't have to a girlfriend/boyfriend scenario, it could be any disagreement or falling out.

The lying study clearly shows that as parents we always want to believe that our children are telling the truth but not only is there the fact that we are so rubbish at spotting when they are not BUT there is also ALWAYS at least 2 sides to a dispute and we are NEVER going to know the full story.

This is where we, as parents, can learn to be supportive but also be aware that we are flawed in spotting lies and not great at holding ourselves, and therefore others, accountable for their actions. I love this video by Brene Brown about accountability and blame. I used to be a blamer (more about this later!!) There is always a place for accountability for everyone but this involves communication: if you don’t communicate your feelings and just allocate blame everyone loses. The problem is that speaking up can be really difficult for some people (see my previous post about minimisers and maximisers) and so there needs to be an awareness of this in every relationship.

This is the type of education we can give our children growing up but also we can support our grown up children by providing a safe environment where they can be heard when things are not going so well in their relationships. We can help by maybe pointing them in the direction of tools/techniques for better communication, accountability and space in which to have healthy relationships where they can help their friends/partners grow rather than blaming, belittling and dysfunction and as parents wer can do this with love and compassion.

Empathy
If we can do this with empathy rather than sympathy (another great Brene Brown/RSA short video) then even better. Empathy drives connection (feeling WITH someone) by allowing the following:

1. Perspective taking - ability to take the perspective of another person (as mentioned above)
2. Perspective taking - recognising their perspective as their true
3. Staying out of judgement
4. Recognising emotion in others and communicating that

Obviously all these things can be really difficult but helping someone find these qualities when what they really want to do is blame someone for something is never going to help in the long run. Believe me, I have tried to remove the part I played in a difficult relationship on a fair few occasions. I liked to blame so I didn't have to take responsibility for my part. However I am always 50% responsible for anything that happens in any relationship and so are you. Owning that fact and being accountable for that will help you grow as a person and is such an important lesson to tell our children, young and old.

It isn't easy: I am still someone who tends towards blame as a modus operandi but I now have the knowledge and tools to help me to find a different way and realise that blaming works for a while but like eating a whole bag of doughnuts in one go, it seems a good idea at the time but after a while it doesn't feel so good. One of the easiest techniques for this is putting myself in someone else’s shoes (or number 1 above.)

Such an easy technique but so effective (and I always like the easy solutions!!) With my dispute idea wouldn't it be great to really feel how it would be to hear the other side. To wonder (if it is your son who has told you their tale of woe) how it would feel to hear the side of the other person (imagining they are also your child) who is telling their version of the same tale of woe. Would you do things differently? Knowing that you are never going to know the whole truth would you be more kind, gentle and hold your child more accountable for their own part in the tale? Also knowing that you probably aren't going to know when you are being told a lie would you be more compassion to ALL concerned?

There are always at least 2 sides to every story and those 2 sides can be from very different viewpoints. This is something I have come to realise listening to my own children talk about a disagreement they have had. Dd’s version is always TOTALLY different to ds’s much as my take on an argument with dh is always different to what I thought had occurred. Again this is something I try to model to my children on a regular basis in the hope that as they grow into adulthood they will own up when they have been complicit in some behaviour that wasn’t wholly healthy.

Luckily they have two parents who are very different who are very active in explaining this type of thing. I am always telling people that they only thing I “educate” my children in as a home educating parent is social situations and how to be authentic, accountable and empathetic in all their dealings with other people. Even more lucky for them they also have a multitude of fantastic role-models in their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends’ parents and people that I work with. Home education also means that they can spend a lot of time with all these extra people when they would normally be at school.

Anyway here is an interesting post by Alfie Kohn author of Punished by Rewards. This book is well worth a read if you want to know why rewarding children for doing stuff either with money, stars or whatever other system TOTALLY doesn't work in the long run. However the blog post is about types of motivation and love. Quite relevant to my last blog post about getting the love you want or not!!

And here is the great Doughnut parody by Dustin & Genevieve who are awesome. Enjoy the light relief!!!

November's Novel Nuances

Watch this optical illusionary video here

I was part of a The Future of Libraries day here in York - watch the video here and see if you can spot me in a few places!!!  Read more about the day here and it looks like York libraries have an exciting future ahead.

Absolutely brilliant video by a veteran about who the real enemy is and it isn't Iraqis.  Watch here

A beautiful video here of how we can affect people - watch Whoopi Goldberg get thanked for her role in Star Trek here

Brilliant satirical write up of the British weather over winter here

Speech by Matt Damon about the state of America.  Impressive stuff here

Brilliant wind-powered creations here

Hear what crickets sound like slowed down here

Is being "wrong" really that bad?

It’s funny how time affects memories and links things together in a strange collage of time and events.  

At the end of May last year I was up in Glasgow with my family celebrating a friend’s 18^th birthday.  We arrived a few days before the celebrations to a complex break-up situation between the Mum (a long-time friend) and her partner.  My dh and I tried to create a buffer between the couple to lessen the stress being caused to the birthday girl and her siblings.  Over the few days we were there, we listened, advised as friends, reflected back feelings, listened some more and tried to help as best we could.  After the break-up both dh and I were blamed by the ex for various mistakes, and ultimately, his break up. 

Fast forward to this May and I have been embroiled in another situation where it seems blame has been directed from one individual towards many.  I understand that it isn't easy admitting that you might have been wrong or incorrect in your assumptions.  I still find it difficult - get defensive and try and justify that what I did was ok.  Although I do not think this is human nature, as such, I feel it is a deep conditioning in a lot of us on this planet.  I used to think it was great being able to blame someone else but not anymore because I know how detrimental it is to how I feel deep down inside.   

My dilemma is:

Do we have a moral obligation, or a right, to tell someone when we feel that they have got it wrong?  

If there are other people involved, especially kids, should we speak up?  

I needed to be at my friend’s 18^th celebrations regardless of the circumstances.  Should I have ignored what was going on between her Mum and the partner?  Should I have just listened, tried to shield the kids from the emotional outfall but not given any advice even when asked? 

I wouldn't let a friend mistakenly run in front of a car if I could stop it.  I wouldn't tell them as they lay in a hospital bed, recovering from the accident, that I thought they needed to 'learn' from their experience of being hit by a car.  So why would I let a friend (or any fellow human being) run in front of a metaphorical car in terms of destructive behaviour,  making mistakes, or let them continue to be in denial of their behaviour and its consequences?  Why do they need to learn for themselves when someone can point it out to them in a compassionate way? 

I don’t know the answers to these questions.  I just know I feel uncomfortable about these two situations and they led me to write this blog.  

I am glad that I have friends and family who challenge my behaviour.  It isn't easy to hear when you have done something wrong (I don’t like that word but it will have to do).  Being told I have been overly defensive, sarcastic, or anything similar is upsetting but I, like everyone else, can 'get over' being upset.  It isn’t the end of the world and I would rather know in the long run then not know.  

No-one has ever died from being told they didn’t do something as well as they could, especially if it is delivered in a friendly way that keeps the “wrong” behaviour separate from the person.  [Non-violent communication (NVC) is very good for examples of this, as is the Siblings without Rivarly and Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk books.  You don’t tell someone that they are a bad person - you tell them that they have acted badly.] 

So here are some of my relationship facts:

1. Treat everyone as you would like to be treated
2. Being told something you did is your fault NEVER killed anyone.  Accept it, don’t automatically justify your way out of it, sit with the feelings for a while and see what happens.  You know what though? – the world won’t end if you did do something wrong and if you didn’t then you have to wonder why the other person thought that you did and remember point 1
3. Not accepting that something is your fault when it might have been at some level affects your self-esteem in a detrimental way and could negatively affect your relationships – so is being right really worth it?
4. Blaming someone else for any thing in your life is making you a victim and removing your control over your own life.
5. No-one can make you do anything you don’t want to (other than in a very, very small set of circumstances) so accept your place in the universe, warts and all. 
6. We all have flaws, faults, patterns of behaviour which aren’t helpful to us but again acting out on these is not the end of the world.  Apologise when you realise, try and learn from the experience and move on.  Also if someone else points it out to you refer to point 2
7. Someone so hell-bent on being right is missing the opportunity to see where they might have been mistaken.  Sympathise with them because they aren’t really living, learning and growing (see point 4 and below)

Anyway attending the Hoffman Process a few years ago really helped me accept my “faults” without being as defensive or feeling as guilty.  I now find it easier (not easy yet – but easier) to apologise when I have made a mistake.  This willingness to accept responsibility for my actions has brought me closer to my friends and family.  It also means that every time I accept my not-so-nice behaviour I learn about myself and it becomes easier to acknowledge a mistake the next time.  Accepting my flaws and weaknesses actually makes me stronger and it seems to me that people who cannot accept theirs are more unhappy because they are caught up in a myth of who they really are. 

I don’t want to live my life as part myth and part me. 

I want to life my live part me and another part me, even if that second part:

makes mistakes (they are my mistakes)

has regrets (they are my regrets) 

hurts other people (I can apologise and re-connect with them)

lets people down (I can make it up to them and re-connect with them)

And by accepting these things about myself, I am accepting and loving myself.  Only by accepting and loving myself, can I accept and love others.  By continuing to learn and admit when I get it wrong, I give my friends and family the ability and space to do the same.  As Brene Brown would put it “for connection to happen [between human beings] we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen” – warts and all!!!

Maybe that is the answer to my dilemma.  If everyone could find a way to accept themselves for the wonderful, unique person that they are, maybe blame and the need to be right would become a thing of the past.  Until it does though, I celebrate my ability to say sorry and try harder next time and hope you will join me!!!!!

Click here to see Brene’s blog.  Click here for her "Listening to shame" TED talk and here for her "Power of vulnerability" TED talk.

"The Hoffman Process is an intensive 8-day residential course that promotes personal discovery and development."  You cannot really sum it up that easily because what you learn, experience and feel in those 8 days is potentially life-changing.  Click here to see the Hoffman Process UK website or contact me via the form on my website here, if you want to know more about my personal experience on the process.

"The key focus of NVC is - noticing the feelings and needs in ourselves and others, as a way of being in touch with what really matters to us and others.  In addition, to achieve greater clarity in our self awareness and ‘inner chatter’, and to decrease the likelihood of others hearing blame or criticism in the words we use with them, NVC brings our awareness to making factual observations without judgements and also to making clear specific requests in our dialogues with others."  Click here to go to the UK NVC website, here for the Siblings Without Rivalry book, here for the How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk book and here for the teenage version of the Talk book. 

Another brilliant perspective on a similar subject here - "There can often be many ‘right’ answers to a situation or for resolving a conflict. So the perception that there is just one  right answer  and all others are wrong is limiting."

May's Marvellous Quotes, Videos and Stuff

James Rhodes: "Find what you love and let it kill you!!" - interesting take on passion, creativity and what makes us feel alive -strangely enough.

Freedom is freedom to quit - and everyone should have a right to quit.

Guardian Article - Leave Them Kids Alone - our kids need autonomy and freedom.

Why I take my kids running

99 brill ideas to make life easier

A different view on conflict - "Conflict offers an opportunity to learn and grow...It also enables us to understand how our thinking shapes our reality and affects us physcially, emotionally and spirituality. "

A Dad's letter to little girl (about her future husband) - "Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul - in that unshakable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego - that you are worthy of interest.  (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won.  But that is a letter for another day.)"

Fab granny square slippers. I am so going to make some of these!!!

Square and stripes slippers - crochet style

Fantastic "We're all going on a Gove hunt" in the style of "We're all going on a bear hunt" - read it here

How to wrap things and make bags the Furoshiki way shown here

I love Russell Brand.  Another great post about the killing in Woolwich.  Read here.  "We need now to move closer to one another, to understand one another.  If we can take anything heartening from this dreadful attack it is of course the actions of three women [who] looked beyond the fear and chaos and desperation and attuned to a higher code.  One of virtue, integrity and strength....To truly demonstrate defiance in the face of this sad violence, we must be loving and compassionate to one another."

Building resilience in young children - an interesting blog post about letting children have a go themselves.

If you want a laugh - click here - how to sound way more arty than you are (or is that just me?)

Lovely article about a Doctor who uses great techniques to help children deal with pain (or not even notice it) - well worth reading and watching here