Lessons from burning my school assignments

I burnt a whole load of my assignments from school and university last week, as part of my minimalist month.

As a kid, I loved getting recognition for how well I was doing at school. That need for external validation followed me into my adulthood. When pregnant with DS I did an A'level in Psychology just to prove I could get an A (I got a B!!) From 2001 (the year DS was born) through to 2014 I studied on and off with the Open University in the attempt to get as First Class degree. I didn't need another degree - I already had 2!! I needed to prove that I could - or at least I thought I did.

It wasn't until I had finished my 5 years of shamanic training culminating in passing my shamanic practitioner training that I finally gave up on that degree and instead settled for a First Class Diploma in business, computing, and design. At that time it was a decision I took almost without thinking about it. 

I feel that the decision was easy because of the personal development work I had done through my shamanic training as well as the many soul retrievals and healings I received. With the help of those soul parts and getting to know my spirit guides, I was slowly beginning to find my validation internally rather than externally. 

Fast forward to now and it is a minimalist month and yesterday I needed to get rid of 6 things!! Having done these decluttering months quite a few times since starting in 2016 that means it is getting harder to find things to get dispose of. I am, however, enjoying the challenge and finding that I let go of more stuff, it is mentally, emotionally and spiritually challenging me, especially if I give myself time to stop and really explore my feelings. So in my decluttering/sorting session for day 6, I came across some assignments from middle school, upper school and even from when I was doing my Maths Certificate with the Open University. 

There are valid reasons why I had all those assignments and in some ways, they bring me joy but I don't want the clutter. To be fair they don't take up that much space but if I said that about everything I own then it all adds up to a lot more than you think. So I decided to copy them onto my computer and let go of the originals.

As part of the process, I felt called to make a ceremony of what letting go of those assignments means to me: a celebration for internal versus external validation. So I burnt them at my woodland and conducted a personal shamanic ceremony around letting go of the need for external validation and wholly embracing my self-worth. This cleansing fire brought up stuff about my undiagnosed dyslexia throughout my school career, my comparison to my others academically and many more interesting thoughts and feelings. I loved letting go of all of those thoughts that do not serve me anymore and making room for those thoughts and feelings around validation, self-worth, etc. that help and empower me.  

I am in the process of sorting out ways of getting actual worthwhile feedback (not validation) from my shamanic and essential oil clients. Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to receive feedback that can help me improve my services. I, however, want to move further towards a place where any external recognition I get for my skills, services, etc. will be received with gratitude from a place of power rather than need. 

This has made me realise that decluttering my physical space allows me to let go of more than just the physical stuff if I give myself the time to do so. This whole 'day 6' process allowed me to also declutter my mind and make room for my soul to feel more peaceful.